No one else would understand our relationship, and no one else in this world would understand me the way you do. Â – Unknown
A lot of good love can happen in ten years. – Jim CarreyÂ
Growing up I always looked up to my grandparents, well more to my grandmother to be exact in relationships. She painted out this fairytale relationship that everyone should have. I thought that’s how all relationships were automatically. At that age I thought even she had one, which I later understood she didn’t. Well, not to outsiders, it was all a matter of perception. My grandfather was her first “love” (her at 16 – him already with a previous daughter) which nowadays would definitely even be questionable to most parents. To make a long story short they ended up having three more kids (my mom the baby) and you would never know my grandfathers first daughter was even from a first marriage because those ARE all my aunts, uncles, cousins, one big happy family and end of story.
In my family we’ve had all types of relationship examples from my grandparents which were extremely traditional marriages until death do us part on both sides which I think is just BEAUTIFUL. Down to Mom and Dad being amicably divorced before I was out of elementary school which has become somewhat normal nowadays. What I think hasn’t been AS normal is I feel they get along MORE now than they did when they were married. As a kid part of my nightly prayer routine was to make them stop fighting whatever it took, I guess it happened. Come college I found this guy, one that had been staring me in the face as a friend at work for years that I had never seen it, total friend zone. We sat in the same office, worked on the same projects, IMed constantly and even talked romantic advice about other guys… How naive and stupid could I have been!!! Wow. Looking back why and how did he wait. How amazing of a man to not walk and say ‘blind 19 yr old girl’ and patiently wait.
I’ve always been a strong believer in life, fate and it’s coincidental timing. Something crazy happened in the summer of 2004 that we decided to go past the friend zone. We weren’t quite ready to tell everyone; partially because we worked together and partially because we didn’t know where it was going and didn’t want everyone to get involved. By Mauricio’s bday in August we still were keeping it quiet which was strange because some of his friends are great with figuring things out (Alex) and others are very different than anything I had ever been used to (Hiram & Juan). In Nov my world came to a halt and I couldn’t be more grateful for Mauricio. My grandfather, the one that was always around to pick me up from school, basically that Cuban stay at home dad that everyone has, passed away. That’s when Mauricio and I officially “came out” to my family and friends. He became my rock. They were mourning as was I but I needed someone that was solid and wouldn’t fall apart on me outside the family. What was most consoling was that I had the peace of mind that my grandfather knew him and liked him before he passed. Very few weeks later the doctors told my grandmother that she needed open heart surgery immediately or she would only have months to live. Seeing as how her life long partner her just died she declined the surgery. The battles began. Her biggest excuse being that she didn’t have the proper care after the surgery. It’s at that point I decided that the chips were piled too much on the other side. I signed my transfer papers from UF to FIU after Spring 2005 and moved home. I talked to my boss to switch my schedule to become my grandmothers official caregiver from 5am-3pm daily then work 330pm-730pm. AND I officially got myself a BOYFRIEND!! It was so crazy to call him that by that then because it had become to effortless and been so nature that when we told people we actually had to go back an pick an anniversary based on dates we know we had actually gone on and done things so it is more than 10 years today!!! ❤️
Part of me thinks I wouldn’t have helped my grandma, stayed sane, made the move, finished school, or been the person I am today without him by my side. The other part of me KNOWS I wouldn’t have. Everyday I’m with him I can’t help but think that my grandparents were more right that when it’s the person they just fit, it’s right, it’s effortless, no rush and there’s no explanation needed.
I think we’ve been one of those lucky couples where we don’t have these huge blow out fights, say mean things that we know we’ll take back later, and etc. The first few years I thought it was just the honeymoon phase and eventually this would all come crashing down and reality would set in but nope.. all good on this front THANKFULLY! I can’t lie and say that are perfect, agree on everything, don’t have disagreements, don’t get on each other’s nerves at times, aren’t times where we wish we could take a silent break but those are VERY VERY few and far between and it just such a glimpse of those MAJORITY of times to realize how truly lucky I am.
Almost 5 years ago when I got the brain tumor news this guy was standing at my hospital bedside while I cried my eyes out. About 5 weeks ago after I had the stroke after brain surgery and couldn’t speak or communicate, was so frustrated all I could do was cry he was not even BY my bedside he was IN my bed while I cried my eyes out. He understood every thought. Basically every time I’ve given up and broken down to that “I have to be strong” front I put up he’s been with there, mostly because he pulls it out and knows it’s back there. He always knows how to be there, say the right thing, be there at the right time, give me the right look, and the right hug for just long enough to put me back together. He calms me.
At any time he could have walked. There was no commitment, there still isn’t. Not 10 years ago, not 5 years ago, not today; that’s always been very clear. I don’t own you. You stay as long as you are happy, in love and continue to be so, I think I learned that from the multiple style relationships I grew up with. I would rather someone that stay feel that way or feel forced to stay unhappy. You find another guy on the street and he might have walked out of that hospital night 5 years ago, let not even talk about all the craziness a few weeks ago. Not my guy, I can’t even say what THAT says.
“More Than Words”
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cos I’d already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Happy Anniversary. I can’t say it enough. I love you.
 Let’s celebrate our anniversary and raise a toast to our togetherness. Sweetheart, I cherish the memories that I share with you.
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