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Ten Year LOVE LIFE <3

No one else would understand our relationship, and no one else in this world would understand me the way you do.  – Unknown

A lot of good love can happen in ten years. – Jim Carrey 

Growing up I always looked up to my grandparents, well more to my grandmother to be exact in relationships. She painted out this fairytale relationship that everyone should have. I thought that’s how all relationships were automatically. At that age I thought even she had one, which I later understood she didn’t. Well, not to outsiders, it was all a matter of perception. My grandfather was her first “love” (her at 16 – him already with a previous daughter) which nowadays would definitely even be questionable to most parents. To make a long story short they ended up having three more kids (my mom the baby) and you would never know my grandfathers first daughter was even from a first marriage because those ARE all my aunts, uncles, cousins, one big happy family and end of story.

In my family we’ve had all types of relationship examples from my grandparents which were extremely traditional marriages until death do us part on both sides which I think is just BEAUTIFUL. Down to Mom and Dad being amicably divorced before I was out of elementary school which has become somewhat normal nowadays. What I think hasn’t been AS normal is I feel they get along MORE now than they did when they were married. As a kid part of my nightly prayer routine was to make them stop fighting whatever it took, I guess it happened. Come college I found this guy, one that had been staring me in the face as a friend at work for years that I had never seen it, total friend zone. We sat in the same office, worked on the same projects, IMed constantly and even talked romantic advice about other guys… How naive and stupid could I have been!!! Wow. Looking back why and how did he wait. How amazing of a man to not walk and say ‘blind 19 yr old girl’ and patiently wait.

I’ve always been a strong believer in life, fate and it’s coincidental timing. Something crazy happened in the summer of 2004 that we decided to go past the friend zone. We weren’t quite ready to tell everyone; partially because we worked together and partially because we didn’t know where it was going and didn’t want everyone to get involved. By Mauricio’s bday in August we still were keeping it quiet which was strange because some of his friends are great with figuring things out (Alex) and others are very different than anything I had ever been used to (Hiram & Juan). In Nov my world came to a halt and I couldn’t be more grateful for Mauricio. My grandfather, the one that was always around to pick me up from school, basically that Cuban stay at home dad that everyone has, passed away. That’s when Mauricio and I officially “came out” to my family and friends. He became my rock. They were mourning as was I but I needed someone that was solid and wouldn’t fall apart on me outside the family. What was most consoling was that I had the peace of mind that my grandfather knew him and liked him before he passed. Very few weeks later the doctors told my grandmother that she needed open heart surgery immediately or she would only have months to live. Seeing as how her life long partner her just died she declined the surgery. The battles began. Her biggest excuse being that she didn’t have the proper care after the surgery. It’s at that point I decided that the chips were piled too much on the other side. I signed my transfer papers from UF to FIU after Spring 2005 and moved home. I talked to my boss to switch my schedule to become my grandmothers official caregiver from 5am-3pm daily then work 330pm-730pm. AND I officially got myself a BOYFRIEND!! It was so crazy to call him that by that then because it had become to effortless and been so nature that when we told people we actually had to go back an pick an anniversary based on dates we know we had actually gone on and done things so it is more than 10 years today!!! ❤️

Part of me thinks I wouldn’t have helped my grandma, stayed sane, made the move, finished school, or been the person I am today without him by my side. The other part of me KNOWS I wouldn’t have. Everyday I’m with him I can’t help but think that my grandparents were more right that when it’s the person they just fit, it’s right, it’s effortless, no rush and there’s no explanation needed.

I think we’ve been one of those lucky couples where we don’t have these huge blow out fights, say mean things that we know we’ll take back later, and etc. The first few years I thought it was just the honeymoon phase and eventually this would all come crashing down and reality would set in but nope.. all good on this front THANKFULLY! I can’t lie and say that are perfect, agree on everything, don’t have disagreements, don’t get on each other’s nerves at times, aren’t times where we wish we could take a silent break but those are VERY VERY few and far between and it just such a glimpse of those MAJORITY of times to realize how truly lucky I am.

Almost 5 years ago when I got the brain tumor news this guy was standing at my hospital bedside while I cried my eyes out. About 5 weeks ago after I had the stroke after brain surgery and couldn’t speak or communicate, was so frustrated all I could do was cry he was not even BY my bedside he was IN my bed while I cried my eyes out. He understood every thought. Basically every time I’ve given up and broken down to that “I have to be strong” front I put up he’s been with there, mostly because he pulls it out and knows it’s back there. He always knows how to be there, say the right thing, be there at the right time, give me the right look, and the right hug for just long enough to put me back together. He calms me.

At any time he could have walked. There was no commitment, there still isn’t. Not 10 years ago, not 5 years ago, not today; that’s always been very clear. I don’t own you. You stay as long as you are happy, in love and continue to be so, I think I learned that from the multiple style relationships I grew up with. I would rather someone that stay feel that way or feel forced to stay unhappy. You find another guy on the street and he might have walked out of that hospital night 5 years ago, let not even talk about all the craziness a few weeks ago. Not my guy, I can’t even say what THAT says.

“More Than Words”
Saying I love you

Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cos I’d already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Happy Anniversary. I can’t say it enough. I love you.

 Let’s celebrate our anniversary and raise a toast to our togetherness. Sweetheart, I cherish the memories that I share with you.

Life with doctors

After that first seizure I dove into research and all the information doctors would give me. I landed an AMAZING team of doctors during my ER visit who are still with me today. I also received so many wonderful recommendations, second opinions and new referrals. Looking back I probably overdid it but regardless it was definitely a learning experience. Here are a few of those that have been seen along the way and my personal recommendations (in no particular order):

– Dr.Sergio Jaramillo (Neurologist at Baptist Hospital and Neuroscience Consultants Care Center I- Office 305-596-2080)

This guy has been a ROCK! Total superstar and wouldn’t change him for the world. Was assigned him in ER at seizure #1, was terrified by how young he looked (still impressed with how young he is) but definitely a perk. In addition to normal neuro appts, I’ve had 2 (or is it 3??) spinal tap/lumbar punctures done by him personally and would do it again. He is so personable, attentive, thorough and HONEST! His office staff is great, his assistant is AMAZING! I ended up taking my grandmother to see him when she started mentally declining and it was such a relief. Truly one of the greats.

– Dr.Vitaly Siomin (Neurosurgeon at Baptist Hospital – Office 305-271-6159)

There is something SO endearing about this man. He was assigned to me in ER at seizure #1, one of the newer surgeons at Baptist back then. Can’t say I have heard one negative thing about him through everyone I’ve seen. You can tell he absolutely loves what he does. He’s like an open book and feeds my inner need for more information. He has always been so amazingly patient, thorough, kind and understanding through my never ending questions. Deep down he has always been a supporter of learning and understanding what I am dealing with, wants me to see the MRI images and understand his suggestions. I do have to say I’m extremely addicted to the chocolate croissants at the Au Bon Pain cafe in the lobby of his building.

– Dr.Roberto Hero (Neurosurgeon at UM Miller school of Medicine/Jackson – Office 305-243-3245)

Managed to get an appointment with this rock star just a few days after seizure #1 through my boyfriends best friend (still owe him for that). He is definitely a wanted man. His resume and experience is just shocking and beyond words. I’ve definitely ridden a roller coaster of emotions with him. Every time I go see him I feel like I’m talking to my grandfather. Definitely a commanding presence and endless fountain of knowledge and experience. His clinic hours get very busy so I recommend taking the first appointment in the morning to beat the rush. There’s a cafeteria across the hall while you wait.

– Dr. Jacques Morcos (Neurosurgeon at UM/Jackson- Office 305-243-6190)

Recently saw him as a referral from a friend of a friend (who also happens to be a surgeon). WOW. This man was impressive. SOOOO detail oriented and has this very calm way about him. Amazing that with all the patients he had to see made me feel like the only one there. He was extremely honest and real with all the information provided. I do wish I would have met him before, not that I think it would’ve changed the outcome or team but possibly the amount of information through this point.

– Dr.Aizik Wolf (Saw at Doctor’s Hospital but recent conversations have told me he’s now at Larkin Hospital)

This guy is by far THE GAMMA KNIFE GUY. If you are not ready for intense discussions and decisions to be made, the quit while you’re ahead.

– Dr.Ronald Benveniste (Neuro-Oncologist at UM/Miller school of Medicine – Office 305-243-6946)

Referred twice by Dr.Heros for a stereotactic needle biopsy (which we declined). Very knowledgeable and patient (considering my declination and outward disapproval of his suggestions for MY case).

– Dr.Allan Jorge (Neurosurgeon at Consultants in Neurological Surgery – Office 786-517-8650)

Referred by my boss to assist in navigating the doctor path right after seizure #1. He focuses on spine so was not really an option for MY case but he was great in figuring out the politics, questions to ask and next steps when I was so overwhelmed.

– Dr. Milton Gaviria (Infectious Disease Physician – Office 305-595-4590)

Seen at the ER and follow up at his office after seizure #1. Due to the nature of the first seizure and lack of witnesses we ended up with a full workup of diseases to rule out (or in) possible diagnosis. Everything came back all clear so not much follow up continued with his office. Very polite and proper.

– Dr.Ann MacIntyre (Infectious Disease at Mercy Hospital – Office 305-858-6365)

Referred by my boyfriend who actually went to school with her brother and grew up knowing their family. She was adorable! Definitely not what I would expect from an infectious disease doctor (if you expect anything in particular). Was so attentive and personable. Did not hold back on doing everything possible to get a diagnosis or all clear. Literally wrote up a script for EVERY SINGLE test on the Quest Diagnostic check list PLUS an additional Rx. Was extremely thorough with results and explanations. Again, everything came back clear so not must follow up continued.

– Dr.Allan Friedman (Neurosurgeon at Duke – Office 919-681-6421)

Referred by multiple sources, one of which is a former patient who is doing AMAZING post-op. Yet another impressive resume and experienced surgeon. Did not actually see him or even get to making an appointment as I was happy with my medical team and already decided to move forward locally.

The list really does go on longer but these were pretty much the big players. I’m an open book if anyone needs more specifics, questions or referral information.

-Vane