Looking at the clock this morning was almost surreal. Exactly one year ago I was waiting to go into an awake craniotomy not knowing what was on the other side. I’ve always heard of things like this taking over people’s lives and now I understand how and why. None of us (that these medical issues happen to) expect to get “lost” from friends, time just seems to get away from us faster than most.
At times this year it has felt like the days, hours even minutes were almost at a standstill. Our calendar was set around doctors appointments and they were always the boss. I’m sure for those that were helping me and enduring the worst with me it felt like time crawled. I wouldn’t be the best judge as words were even a feat at one point. During chemo and radiation treatment we kept a countdown of how many more sessions left, which had the opposite effect, time seemed to go by faster each day somehow. All mind games I suppose, something to look forward to. By then we just started waiting for the next doctors appointment to get results of the treatment. When we heard the words ‘we got it. Looks good’ and ‘REMISSION’ hit me it felt like a giant weight lifted and the clock stopped.
Now it all just seems like a blink of an eye. One year, really? Already? I feel like I need to double check it really happened but NO trust me I AM SURE (I have the barely there scar to show). I’ve been lucky enough to have made it through the surgery, my treatment and now get back to normal life. I still stand by my thoughts a year ago, glad it was me. I would not change the past or what I went through for anything. I take those lessons as memories and look forward to molding them into my future. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings.
-V 😊
“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real” – Cormac McCarthy
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